Jay Houhlias
What are YOU doing on a river cruise?
The question came up from a few different passengers, and staff. They all asked in the same way; politely, delicately, weary the question might be taken the wrong way, but curiously.
Granted, I certainly did not fit the demographic of other passengers. My boundless youth and untouched, ethereal beauty were the major forces behind the queries, but I was also traveling alone.
I, and most traveling young people, seem to have a default setting – scrap together travel – cheapest accommodation, cheapest flights, longest flight times and stopovers, cheapest food.
Most older travelers are the opposite, willing to save for months and years so they can have their few weeks of complete luxury and relaxation.
Despite this, holidays can still be stressful. The underbelly of travel consists of things like booking correctly and in a timely manner, asking for directions in a language foreign to you, not having Wi-Fi or data, not knowing the public transport system, organising food and luggage.
These cause the furred brows, sweaty necks, staggered and ungraceful walking as your eyes dart around looking for answers, all the while in beautiful locations where one should be a picture of harmony and carefreeness. It’s one of the main things distinguishing tourists from locals; the ease.
Aboard Riviera Travel’s MS Lord Byron, I realised this ease is what they hold most important.
They take your right from your home airport and plonk you onto your cruise. They take care of everything, and it’s a difficult balance to get right. The compromise of taking away stress and worry means the traveler loses autonomy, babied almost.
But Riviera treated us like adults, which we were, most of us, most of the time. Despite my age, I was welcomed and respected the same as other passengers, most of whom were far more dignified.
Breakfast and lunch were buffets with options to order something fresh from the menu, and dinner was typically a three course a la carte menu. We were given dining windows and could come and go as we pleased. Same was with the tours and excursions – all optional, all up to you.
Because of this, you really got the best out of people. Free to relax and choose their programs, passengers could be more themselves, chatting and meeting others, not being distracted by logistics or any of the other hassles of traveling in a new place.
But it wasn’t all warm fuzzies. Riviera is a British company, and they couldn’t help but include some stark dry humour through cruise director Peter, and the passengers, being mostly British, felt right at home amongst it.
“You’ve been a great group, one of the best groups, this week. Our staff were just discussing how we have had not a single complaint, about you.”
The staff too enjoyed their jokes. The classic was bringing out dinner under a lid, and they’d say, “Here we have the salmon.”
The passenger, awfully concerned, would say, “Don’t you mean steak?”
The waiter’s confused face would prompt the passenger to elaborate, “I ordered a steak, medium rare.”
The waiter would then pull out his notepad and motion to his other staff with a frantic worry on his face. Another staff member would come over and together, they would pull the lids off the dishes to reveal, aha, a medium rare steak.
The staff possessed the ability to move around in secret, sleek as ever, filling your drinks and cleaning your room. It was near impossible to be a slob, which I can certainly fall into when I’m relaxing, or, whenever really.
Our cruise took us along the Rhone River through Burgundy country. Burgundy is of course known for its wine and all things refined including cuisine, graceful smoking, ageing beautifully, cheese, parfaits, being slender, and wearing nice clothes – preferably loose and swaying in the wind, which, if there isn’t any, they’ll somehow manage to manufacture the effect of.
The low hanging bridges we cruised under meant we could practically touch some of them when passing. Itineraries and information were laid out on our beds the night before and we spent most of our time docked.
Tour guides met us at the docks in the morning. On a wine tour in Beaune, capital of the Burgundy wine region, our guide had been a wine taster. She often began work at 8am in the morning and had to taste up to 80 wines in 4 hours. She told us the rules of tasting.
First was to the glass hold at the bottom, fingers below and thumb on top, like you would a plate of food. Second was to inspect the colour and clarity. Third was the smell, and last was the taste.
Why hold at the bottom?
“Well,” she said, “your fingers will block the colour inspection if you hold up there, also heat from your fingers alters the temperature of the wine.”
We all nodded at the very sensical answer.
“But also,” she added, “holding it up here,” her face scrunched, “it’s not really elegant.”
Everyone laughed because we had discovered the true reason.
Below: Grape pickers in the fields outside of Beaune
All the towns along Provenance had distinct atmospheres. Their aesthetic: worn cream coloured brick with churches and cathedrals amidst restaurants, cafes and shops, skinny but often un-cobbled (very un-European) pathways and streets, rectangular wooden windows which could be mistaken for doors.
Provenance seemed full of people who’d consciously chosen to live there. Everyone I spoke to, from guides to café and shop owners, knew and respected their history. Most had led interesting lives and had a grand scope but moved away from the bigger cities. To me, they had discovered the much-coveted balance of simplicity and living well.
My favourite was Arles, famous for housing Van Gogh and part of his ear. Our guide said of her town, “We have everything here – 40 minutes to the beach, 2 hours to the alps for skiing in the winter, 300 days a year of sunshine. You can see why I chose to live here.”
And you could see why we chose to visit. All us tourists were able to relax and live well like the locals of Provenance. However, despite Riviera’s care, we probably would not be so at ease as to be mistaken for locals.
There is no getting away with 8am wine drinking, lounging in cafes on a Monday morning, smoking sophisticatedly, and eating indulgent food yet still being slender and graceful.
We are not, and probably never will be, as cool as the French from Provenance.
Riviera Travel is the UK’s leading river cruise and tour operator. For 40 years their experts have been bringing to life the world’s most fascinating destinations. For more information and to book, visit https://www.rivieratravel.co.uk/.
