Breaking up might be hard to do, but it might also not be permanent – according to the results of a new survey released by dating website EliteSingles.
The survey, which interviewed 535 Australians using the dating website, found that 48 per cent of participants had been dumped by an ex-partner who later asked them back. Even more surprisingly, exactly half of all those surveyed would take them back as well – as long as they asked nicely!
When it comes to looking at the 171 participants (32 per cent) who experienced ‘dumper’s remorse’, men were the worst culprits – with 36 per cent admitting to regretting a break up, compared to 29 per cent of women.
According to EliteSingles resident psychologist Salama Marine, the pain of a break up may lead to a couple’s second chance, but it is important not to get blindsided by the issues that led to the break up in the first place.
“Why do so many people turn back to their ex? Because they know that that person loved and valued them in the past, so it’s easier to go back to them instead of try to find someone new.
“Yet, doing this can be really painful and lower your self esteem which is the opposite of what you should be doing in the post-break up period. It is important to maintain self worth and if anything, try to boost your ego,” Salama says.
According to founder of Dating with Dignity blog Marni Battista, getting back together with an ex is not usually a clear cut decision – and many factors need to be taken into play, such as if the issues that separated you are reconcilable and likely to change in the future.
“Did you break up because it was bad timing? Was one of you experiencing some family trauma that you couldn’t take your mind off of? Or was it something like the fact they you both had completely different opinions about marriage or your perception of the world?
“If it was more a timing issue, then it’s absolutely a subject that should be broached — and you can feel free to open the communication lines,” Marni writes.
“Band-aid fixes and promises to ‘be better’ in general won’t cut it. However, working on your relationship with the aid of a professional can truly help you rediscover the love that brought you together in the first place.”